Let me share this little thought that has been running through my mind for a few weeks now…..
When I was a teen growing up the Pastor of the church I grew up in would say “Ask What and not Why” when it came to life and the things going on or not going on in it. It has been something that I have tried to practice in life and I find a good amount of wisdom in it.
Here are some thoughts on what I like about this:
Why is a question that many times will leave you wanting – there might not be a satisfactory answer as to why something did or did not happen. Why is many times question that is self pity focused. Why does not move you forward but keeps you stuck.
What on the other hand will bring you answers to questions asked. What is an outward focused question that moves you forward.
Let me give an example how I think changing why’s to what can make a difference.
Why is this happening to me – notice the focus is on self. What can I learn from this – it about self yes but also about information that can be passed on and the answer will move you forward. When you ask what – God has the opportunity to teach you and show things. It opens up the process and I see asking Why in life will many times close things down.
One last thing – I am all for Why’s of curiosity but when it comes to the why’s that come from a poor me – I think that is the time to jump to the what question. I am not saying it is never right to ask why but I think when it comes to life events that happen to us – what is always a much better question.
Those are my two cents – what say you? What are your thoughts on why verse what?
Personally, I think we love the “why’s” because deep inside we know that this is not how it was designed to be. We want a level of control and why speaks boldly of our lack of it. We get all crazy and stirred up because we are left vulnerable and naked (not that naked Jim). The what, shows us the real deal. This is what it is. Now we are left with the “what then?”. How do we react to the what, while feeling insecure with our why’s?
*I promised that made sense in my head. I kind of lost it half way there. I wonder why? (see what I did there?)
I do not want my post to be confused with the why’s of curiosity in life but the why me’s we often ask that are of a poor me mentality. I am all for the why’s of curiosity! Oh and by the way – I did see what you did there
So true….but it’s sometimes hard to see the difference when you are in the middle of the reasons you are thinking “why.”
Very true ….I think it comes from training your mind to think that way or as Paul says “Renewing your mind”. I believe the more it is practiced the easier over time it becomes but it is really hard at times for sure! Thanks for adding in!
I remember my perspective being changed when I read “Where Is God When It Hurts” back in the 70s. The author said we need to stop asking, “Why did this happen?” and start asking, “Now that this happened what does God want me to learn?” That changed things for me in a big way. I agree with your what vs. why.
I wonder if that is where my pastor growing up got it – probably. It has changed me for certain.
I like ‘where’ and ‘who’, better.
They are good ones
Sometimes the questions we ask our self can make all the difference in what we get out of a situation. I never thought about the why having a degree of self-pitting attached, but you’re right. What can I do changes you from feeling sorry for your self to wanting to learn and better your self.